Idk man, it felt like my skin was a suit and I could feel it zipping up my side and up to my mouth. And then my head felt like a ventriloquist dummy's head, with the jaw thing..it was freaky, dude
You think that's a metaphor for anything, champ?
Shut the hell up.
I saw her while sober, and she is definately cut off from the penis ride
do people in england often walk their sheep on leashes? or is this guy the exception to the rule?
I probably shouldn't have followed up that rainbow sherbet with beef jerky. This is a whole new level of fat, even for me.
Apparently I had an idea for a cooking show and then proceeded to throw cookies at people.
Yeah.. he went to Tebow in the middle of the crosswalk and got hit by a cab... The yellow ones really don't stop
You shouted "FUCK SHANIA TWAIN" and then downed an Aquafina bottle of white wine none of us knew how to react
Oh god. Just tried to hail a pizza delivery car. Awkward.
International sake day = success
I felt like a personal hot pocket and all I could taste was cigarettes.
I stopped his blowjob to raise 3 fingers & whistle the hunger games tune to the people walking past the window
Make sure you wash your hands. That seagull you threw was very sick.
I paper cut my nipple reading mail topless
I'm not a morning person, and, trust me, no matter how good your cock may be, it will not turn me into one.
Its not that hard to understand he's my holiday boyfriend, we ignore each other most of the year except on holidays when I give him head
holy f. i broke my toe giving him head. how does that even happen!?
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