you think it's bad that I have four different guys toothbrushes in my bathroom?
It's almost summer. We need to start reconnecting with our home drug dealers.
She threw up in the hot tub how's your night
there was a trail of blood coming out of one of the bathroom stalls. thought of you
I want a grilled cheese and an IV
you were upstairs in your room looking out your window and saw him puking in your bushes outside. you then proceeded to open the window and sing Come To My Window
Would you wanna look up as you cum and for a split-second see your dad?
Mystery solved. Def had ice creme last night. There is a melted half eaten ice creme bar next to the bed. Which had melted onto my pillow. That explains why it was in my hair too. Im a fucking sherlock holmes over here.
You'd think somebody who rolls blunts like jesus himself could roll a god damn burrito
It sucks laughing and vomiting at the same time, trust me. I kind of remember
Just met my French neighbor. We watched a crow die together, so we're pretty tight.
Ok thats great. so just to recap: you fucked a billionare in his penthouse last night, and I had a glass of wine on the toilet.
He got you flowers. How bad can the sex really be?
Sorry my phone died because I decided charging my vibrator was way more important
For some reason she gave me a handjob. It was all very confusing
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