You want looks pregnant, is pregnant, or the one with a kid.
While I'm in the bathroom taking a piss you think of a way to get us the hell out of here.
I found the TV remote. It was in the washing machine along with the chicken wings you kept complaining to Domino's about that they 'never delivered'
You know you love balls. Don't act all "I-Don't-Love-Balls-ish"
Killed two birds with one stone: found my wallet and unclogged the toilet.
Eating doritas dunked in queso con salas. Salllas. Salska. Salsa. Got it. Shhiitt. Salsa con queso. That's better. I'm hot pink socks.
She spent a lot of time to get her cleavage to look that good. It would be rude not to stare. It shows you are paying attention. Chicks dig that.
All I know is I woke up next to her beside the toilet
You do realize that you're sleeping with a man who is part of a gay harem, right?
Well duh, alcohol and getting fucked up are the world's common languages.
a 6'8" white kid in a Lin jersey just wandered out of my gay kid brother's room. when does spring break end, again?
I'm not going to be your wingman while you are in the hospital.
I think I may have just taught my whole hall how to give a good blow job. So this is college.
I'm just going to have crazy good sex with him until one of us developed feelings that works in the movies right?
well that's the third time this semester that I've projectile vomited walking to class in front of dozens of people
Someone keeps hanging up bible verse posters in the bathroom stall I masturbate in at work.
Randomize
