letting you know, as a good neighbor, that when your windows open and your shade is up we can hear and see you dancing naked to money maker... nice boobs
I come up with the best drinking games while babysitting
So we are lighting beer bottles on fire and breaking them in half to make glasses
That sounds dangerous
Don't worry......were wearing oven mits.
The last thing I remember was talking about the economic viability of cock ring manufacturing... we had some good ideas
Guys, I'm sleeping in the BOYNTON LAUNDRY ROOM. if you can, come let me out in the morning as I have no keys. I might be in the study room possibly. DON'T FORGET. I will be trapped
This dude was wearing a "Plan B- One Step" backpack. I wonder how many more I have to buy until I get mine??
I cannot be this high in this house. This house has so many of my secrets in its walls.
i'm about to be the still-drunkest person on the ellipticals
Dude just texted me asking if I could drive 45 mins for a quickie dude use your hand
My gut feeling that we had reached a new level of intimacy last night was confirmed early this morning when you sleep farted on penis.
YOU MAKE ANAL SEX SOUND LIKE A SPORTING EVENT
and the oscar for 'most creative swearing' goes to you for 'jesus's bloody fucksticks'
He sent me a snap of him eating a tamale shirtless. I think I might be in love.
LOCK HIM DOWN.
I mean, it's a romantic picture of pubes if I've ever seen one
Texting people and counting condoms..we have like fourteen. Goal for this week: use all of them
Randomize