this kid just came up to me and asked me if i wanted to play truth or aids with him and his friends. i'm in
I farted on Jack's balls last night. He got pissed and walked away cause he knew it was on purpose. I couldn't hold it in anymore.
Being college poor has reached a new low. I am giving up on masturbating so i can save money on toilet paper
I love seeing you outside of a bar. It's like seeing a dog walk on its hind legs
According to the stories I've heard I decided I was a stuntman after my 6th shot of Jack
Second day of summer classes and i already got this girl to send me nudes during class
that is WHY your in summer classes
worth it
is it cool if i crash at ur house this weekend again bro
yea dude but i wld bring a sleeping bag or something just in case. or u may just have to shack up with a woman or 2 cuz we hav 10 girls visiting/staying over at my house.
how did u manage to make sleeping with a bunch of girls sound like an inconvenience?
I am stoned and listening to the Olympics music I downloaded on Saturday. Best 6 dollars I have ever spent.
My dick pics could make it to the popular page on Instagram.
It was technically 11... But I go by McDonald's time, if they aren't servin breakfast, it's the afternoon. Therefore I can drink
Pretty much just farted directly in a baby's mouth on the subway
if you're the one who put those dollar bills in my bra last night, thank you because I just used that money to get myself a coffee
Moral of the story - don't craft naked. Your nipples with thank me.
Does the term "on fleek" apply to dicks or just eyebrows?
I cannot belive our party caught on fire
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