Oh just a soda. I'm "driving"
I just broke up with Liz. I feel awful so I put two free rentals on her Blockbuster account.
Question: does he have any sense of self image? He looks slightly like he crawled out of the Euphrates after living as a fish for 20 years
we didnt fuck last night. again. seriously, his place is like where dreams go to die.
after a month anything with tits is on the radar
The Wii Fit is already telling me I'm an alcoholic.
I just found out my boyfriend is cheating on me, please tell me Carl is a unisex name.
We can't bring brittanys dog so we are getting high and getting in my bathtub I think it's pretty safe
if you just come over, i will entertain you
arguing about the color of your bong does not count as entertainment
Tell me not to purchase 500 ball pit balls and a kiddy pool
No
This is where you say "Why yes we will drink with reckless abandon and hopefully not be in a church parking lot again."
Finding that toy duck there was weird right?
Sockward: that moment during sexytimes when you realize your socks are still on and you have no idea how to remove them in a non-awkward fashion.
it was like teleporting. everytime i opened my eyes, i was somewhere different... usually the floor.
Three of my exes and one of my exes' brothers have hit me up and it's only been a week. I hate semester break.
Let's be real. I'm the Usain Bolt of running away after hookups. Fastest (wo)man alive.
Randomize
