i also saw a trio of peacocks walking along a sidewalk in hollywood today. i really hope im not tripping.
How can she be afraid to give you a blowjob? It's not like your penis is going to turn on her and eat her.
hey dude i know youre in the next room but me and your sister need a condom, got any i could borrow?
should I fuck that poor girl
no dude she won't be able to afford a fucking abortion
After all you put him through, I think it was only right that you saluted the bartender when you left.
September 16th, captains log. I awoke in a daze, not sure of my location
He's trying to row the canoe up my front yard like he is Lewis and Clark.
I'm wearing your poncho, and only your poncho. I'm not getting pulled over like this.
No. I want him to marry me so we can spend our lives together. I also want a to-scale model of his genitals to mount above my fireplace
My drug dealer just asked me to go see Les Mis on Christmas. Should I be worried this is some type of musical set-up?
He gave me twenty cool ranch tacos and declared, drunk, " Look, I do good"
I accidentally flashed three cops last night. Stone cold sober.
I need a genital shamwow being this wet.
Before you started puking your brains out, you took a moment to give me the correct order of the Harry potter series
First thing I find in the car I just pick up from my grandpa? A discount card for the strip club down the road from his apartment. The force is still strong.
Randomize
