i was watching iron chef and got motivated, so i made dinosaur chicken nuggets
I need to buy a mesh tank top to fit in in Florida. Where do they even sell that shit?
Disadvantage of being gay..... my gag reflexes makes trying to make myself throw up extremely difficult.
he yelled "RELEASE THE KRAKEN" then hit me with his dick
The lawn was on fire, but I fixed it.
They're making scrambled eggs at 2 in the morning... with rum
There is a slip-n-slide in the hallway and a girl just did it topless cuz I told her it was my birthday. Where are you?
It's only been a week and i've already broken my no summer randoms rule twice.
Is your answer to that text seriously a right parenthesis
It was one of those you-have-no-other-way-home-and-we-already-made-out-so-I-guess-youre-coming-home-with-me-if-you-promise-to-leave-early kind of deals.
Well if I'm going to hook up with every ethnicity by the end of undergrad, I need to be moving on
should we try and roll a cross joint since its good friday? you know, for jesus
Is it weird that I have your number saved in my phone as baby Jesus?
Never drinking before a 6am train again. Just threw up at boarder control and had to pretend it was cause I was pregnant and not cause I trashed.
You make Europe seem so glamorous.
We're like a married couple, but we only have sex on college holidays and other people's birthdays.
Randomize
