So I think we're almost at the age where we should start calling boys men. Now what age do they start living up to the new title?
Most never. Some around 65.
I bet i've been more pregnant than you.
I just woke up. In the port-o-potty next to our tailgate. an hour after the game started. explain.
Well its official I'm an idiot. I made out hardcore with an employee last night in our banquet room. Oh and got wasted at work. Oh and showed my staff squirrel on a trampoline.
you were sitting on your bed looking out the window, rocking back and forth naked, saying how peaceful it looked outside
Oh, and no balcony sex...trust me.
"The juvenile turned and faced the officer, unzipped his pants, placed a fresh cigarette in between his legs and preceded to light it with a match"
Im positive, your name was on my abdomen, Im pretty sure thats solid evidence
hooked up with the gay kid & his friend's mom told me "you know he has a identical twin brother whose straight, right?"
I always "accidentally" drop a condom and make sure she sees it's a magnum. By the time I'm inside her and she realizes how small I am, it's all over in a flash and I'm done. Plus, they never call back so I never have to see the girl ever again. #gratefulforprematuretinypenis
Not at all! I'll let your potential employer know you have a huge dick
Does puke ruin car paint? Good thing it's raining.
Some guy is here to get laser hair removal on his balls. I hate my job.
I added our drug dealer to the quickbooks software babe, he is listed under vendor's as an expense category... money management is such a bitch...
The problem with adderall is that no matter what I'm doing, I feel like it was the most productive thing I've EVER done.
Did you alphabetize our spice cupboard again?
...You'll thank me later.
Randomize
