at some point when you're making out with the ex girlfriend of your ex fuck buddy who happens to be the ex boyfriend of the girl that you just got drunk with who was hitting on your current fuck buddy who is best friends with your ex boyfriend, it just hits you: oh my god i need to get out more and expand my social circle.
did it hurt when the cum got in your eye
not so much hurt, more like a stinging sinsation like mouthwash
I honestly get shocked all over again every time I pull his pants down. It's one of those feelings you never get tired of.
At victory brunch. Have a decent story. Im now eskimo brother with the duke mens basketball teams from 2002 to 2008 and obamas right hand man
She had to leave early so she could get ready for her high school's homecoming. I hope her date likes sloppy seconds.
I puked in the revolving door and had to sit down on the escalator. That hungover. It's safe to say people are judging me.
She's running around bumping into to people trying to keep a balloon she filled with vodka in the air. Please tell me she has a secret off switch you didn't tell me about.
You have all been randomly chosen to participate in a new game called: how high was I? If you have any information about this or about where my clothing items went give me a shout. Thanks an good luck.
You left the resturant and came back with a McDonalds burger in your pocket so ya...no more pregaming birthday dinners. Especially since it wasn't your birthday.
I was wondering how I got the burn marks on my boobs and then I remembered....
The baked potato bra?
I don't understand why you aren't on this trip all I do is smoke weed drink beer and get fingered
Your boyfriends underwear are hanging from my kitchen window. Where the fuck are you?!
Dougie got over his pride nerves. Found him dancing on a float wearing nothing but rainbow boxers.
He just pulled his sweatpants down and pissed in the middle of our garden
Vomit your little heart out. You've got a long day tomorrow
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