You're mentally unstable and I would hate to be you
looks like were buying each other an abortion for our one year present...
i should start naming my morning wood
great idea but wrong number
his dog just threw up on me too. its like im a throwup magnet to that family.
I have to verbally tell you. He looks good on paper...but he totally fails in person. Like communism.
dude all you wanted to do was sleep under a bridge
Is it appropriate to put "Mommy and Daddys shitfaced-ness that led to Aubrey" on a birth announcement?
Well you two just had a kid in the middle of college, I dont think anyone will notice.
Thanks bro
Just a heads up before you get home. Took the shelves out of the fridge so i could fit the beer ball and bucket of riot punch. Apparently i decided the stove was the best place to keep them. They got cooked when we pre heated to cook a bird we shot. This may be the final straw for our security deposit
it wasn't until he got that douchey haircut that i started regretting sleeping with him
We were debating whether you had hooked up with him. I was right for the record.
so i might have figured out why that girl isn't talking to me...I'm 90% confident I didn't give her a pillow when she stayed over >.>
Today was my cousin's Kindergarten graduation. I happen to also think of it as a MILF convention.
can we not compare my dick to a children’s folk tale
How many times do I have to tell you I'm not bisexual.
.....unless there is alcohol involved
I got sriracha sauce on my mask while I was eating fast food, now wearing it makes me hungry
Randomize
