I fuked that chick last night and she kept saying, "oh...oh....oh", like Bill Lumberg
so what did you do?
I did the mash I did the monster mash It was a graveyard smash!
I just saw a neon sign in a bar window that says, "open to Public" but the L is burnt out.
last night he was wasted watching Entourage and changed everyone in his phone book to LLOYD!!!!
We just took the batteries out of the fire alarm to play the breathalyzer game. I love college.
Found her in the closet eating mayo out of the jar with a knife
He told everyone he was freezing their keys so they couldn't drive drunk. When I opened the freezer this morning, my keys were at the bottom of an unfrozen ice cream tub of vodka.
It's like a party bus, but there's a glass, airtight wall separating the driver from the passengers, and once everyone's on, they pump vaporized THC into the cabin.
I was taking a bath while he walked in, sat down on the toilet, and said "its like a baby, I can see it crowning."
What is their policy on bow ties and belligerence?
His grandpa picked him up. Brought him to the house. And made him clean the puke off the driveway with a broom and a bucket of water.
I'm still confused. So he's NOT your cousin by blood, but WAS your cousin, on two separate occasions, by marriage? Still too weird I think...
I can't tell if this is a hangover or just a perfect combination of shame and regret
I went to Christian school in the 90s. I can finger blast anything, but dignity.
We fucked while The Odyssey played in the background. Homer would be proud.
I tried to fuck you in my bathroom while my parents were in the next room. I am a clusterfuck of fun.
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