I just figured it out. Meghan has the same smile as Sylvester Stallone.
Seriously, stop peeing all over the toilet seat. It looks like movie theatre butter.
Um, I don't really remember much about the event... and then I woke up on the metro..
I was woken up at 4am by a stranger shaking my foot who said I looked like I needed a cigarette.
two questions - what stuff of mine was pawned and who has the pawn tickets.
I should start printing out disclaimer handouts and passing them out to people saying, "I can not be held responsible for anything I say or do this evening."
Last thing I remember is beer bonging sangria. Dear God.
I walking on her passed out on her bed, clutching a burrito and the walking dead dvd on replay.
I immediately retract my statement involving hylecopters being allowed to blow up sharks out of the water.... The idea if it is super incredible but ultimately it would be cruel and unessesary
Holy shit I've found my last one night stand in my Gran's knitting club
Thanks for having me over last night. Sorry I licked rum off your kitchen floor.
Let he who has not made drunken spaghetti at 3 a.m. cast the first stone.
I just wish he would stop trying to bring his emotional baggage into our sexual relationship.
I'm going to tell you something and I want no judgement because it's america day and I'm wearing an American flag bathing suit but...I woke up in a yard.
You're incredible, and I'm drunk
Randomize
