i want to fuck
?
it's pretty self explanatory
im in a room full of women tattooing each others tits. i hope i remember this tomorrow
she was on her period so I asked if she wanted to make ass babies
Performed a legit marriage between 2 drunk people at last call yesterday. Becoming ordained has already paid for itself.
he's been in the country 4 hours and we just did it in the closet. he called me "miss flirtatious in the cupboard." i'm in love.
FYI I'm about to upload a vid of you to facebook of you screaming "SNACK ATTACK" and throwing cheetos at everyone playing pong...
I'm applying temporary tattoos with green beer, this is the life.
Hey please buy toilet paper today. Plastic grocery bags are starting to hurt now
Guess what I signed up for?!?!?!
Please tell me you're not selling your eggs.
How do you respond to a booty call from yesterday?
He's gonna do me a solid for doing her a solid. It's like pay it foward. But with sex.
I wanna hang out. The cats don't talk back.
Look, I need your help, not your judgment.
I’m going to lick a fucking door knob when this shit is all over
Probably Waffle House
FINE I guess I'll just drink regular coke like a PLEBIAN.
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