Is it a bad sign when i blow my nose && can smell vodka?
just got pizza delivered to the hot tub. its easier than i thought to be this lazy
Vanillla milkshakes are the new Gold Bond. Will explain later.
the only reason I knew his name is because half way through I looked up and it was tatooed on his chest.
My #1 goal this summer is to get drunk at olive garden
I made a game called come to class high and eat nachos.
I knew my sign language would come in handy. I just used sign to coordinate a coke deal.
Pretty sure he sprained my tongue. This is why you don't hook up with gingers.
He said he would pay my bar tab if he couldn't answer my question. He lost to the age old question of our youth. Why did pogs go out of style.
Did you hear about Miss Teen Delaware? From the snippet they played on the radio, I knew exactly what porn company it was from. Maybe I should cut back
In other news, last night I told somebody they made eczema look so good they should call it sexzema.
WHY didn't you stop me from ordering $900 worth of socks last night when I was very obviously judgement impaired at the time?!?!
Spent 38 bucks on dollar wells last night. I'm pretty sure my liver is staging a mutiny right now.
I love how fuckboys immediately become cultured when I tell them I’m an artist.
ok morning sex is a totally valid reason to come in late... ur good, cya in 20
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