You surviving the open bar?
Super asto ex polenta omaha botad
we talked for like an hour, i feel like we really bonded. i mean i was simultaneously giving him head but you get the point.
we were boning in the bathroom when her boyfriend came upstairs. I wish i could remember what happened next more clearly, because it had to have been hilarious
I miss the smell of you or some shit.
sorry
why?
oh you didn't look in the living room yet, did you?
I woke up and he was starring at me and then said "do you believe in miracles"?
Guess who just got out of a ticket because the cop liked her costume? THIS GIRL.
This isn't just a hangover. I can feel the blood moving through my veins, and it hurts.
I got my first tattoo & injured myself while having sex in a national monument. I say we consider this weekend siezed.
yeah I had to wear a fucking diaper from work home so I didn't get the shitty squirts all over my cars seats it was fucked
Blizzard, Hour 9: I'm 7 beers deep and have finished Ninja Turtles. I am listening to the NYPD and Nassau Fire Dept pipes and drums and writing new drum scores in my head, which I may or may not remember tomorrow
Ive never seen a drunk man get suplexed before last week, now its the standard requirement every time we go out.
He's so in love with you that you could fuck a blood relative and he'd be like "I just want you to be happy"
I didn't even mind that he came early I just wanted to get eaten out and cuddle
I made it out of the house. Success.
It's not better out here. I'm at Target hyperventilating in the aisles.
Randomize
