READY
for what?
TO HAVE SEXXXX
i think you have the wrong number
my mkouth tastes houw teh zoo smelllls
is it possible for your nipples to fall off? if so mine might. they hurt so bad...
He stole her cigarettes and walked 15 miles just so he wouldn't have to wake up next to her. God I love being a lesbian.
These pubs in Ireland act like hand jobs aren't the universal currency
I'm also 95% sure I had a conversation with someone on how hard it would be to jerk off with out opposable thumbs
Oh my god. He likes it up the butt. But loves womanly support. Omg. Its bad. Its bad. Ive had too much whiskey for this to be ANYthing except bad.
I had to ask. I mean when you get a snap chat of a nipple you have to ask who's it is.
Apparently it's illegal to hit pedestrians with coke cans... But the cop complimented my arm. That's a win in my book.
I need a drink and a shade of lipstick that will put the fear of God in a man's heart.
That pizza at 1 am literally tasted like I was eating an angel
She had a tattoo of Luke Bryan on her thigh and she made me waffles. Can I have two fiancees?
As he put it in he shouted "geronimo!"
Wow... So was the sex good?
Yeah but it doesn't matter. My vagina is not a pool.
Gotta love college... Pregamed for my 8:30 flight home this morning and gave the flight attendants all high fives when I got on the plane. Best ride of my life.
i just want a beer and a blow job. is that so much to ask?
and i just want a ring so i can stop faking it. is that?
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