she says it's "been amazing lately"
i think basically because i hate her so much i'm trying to break her in half
I just found a receipt from ace where I bought 1 lrg plastic funnel, 2ft of 1" plastic tubing, and a 48" toboggan sled. Thank you cashier #552 for letting that poor life decision happen.
we found you under the sink... we opened up the doors and you told us to go away because you were playing indian in the cupboard
Just bought a waterproof mattress cover. Bring it on sophomore year.
I just passed a drug test. I want to shout that from the top of a mountain. Can we have beers on the top of a mountain?
doing laundry. just found my fishnets from Friday. the ENTIRE crotch is torn out. guess that answers the "did we have sex in the cab" question.....
You know Im horny if Im walking around in my lingerie and sex robe. It's my field of dreams mentality. If I wear it, he will come.
THAT IS NOT SOMETHING YOU TELL SOMEBODY THE FIRST TIME YOU MEET THEM IN THE DARK.
the manischevitz sangria was a big hit
Just took a piss in some random bushes in a traffic jam and had to sprint back to the car. I'm a boss.
I don't just want drugs. I deserve drugs.
There is a couple fucking in the outback bathroom and at first I thought it was sick but than I remembered my Outback fantasy with you and decided I can't pass judgements.
He unliked all of my pictures on instagram, I don't know whats worse, the fact that he did it or the fact that I noticed..
He ran out to tell us that somebody flooded the bathroom, then went back in there fell on his ass and asked why the floor was wet
I don’t know how you celebrated 4/20 but I set a Payless trash can on fire
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