Is it just me, or does Colt McCoy look like Herbie the Dentist from "Rudolph the Red-nosed Reindeer"?
I have Retrograde Ejaculation as a side effect from one of my meds. Is this a respectable form of birth control?
I was pissing in the urinal at the concert and some drunk chick ran in and yelled 'but the lines to fucking long' then ran out with 10 state troopers chasing her... Yeah
Under someone's bed. Not sure whose. I think they're sleeping in it.
Your ankle brace is here and the saw is charged. Grab some vodka that cast is coming off tonight.
But yesterday I literally met half his family buzzed wearing a cheeta print bathing suit super short shorts and a tiny tank top.. I was like awesome
I'm drunk, laying in bed, eating macaroni salad. I dropped a piece and tried to pick it up with a fork. My cleavage is bleeding and I haven't been laid yet. Heeeyyyy!!!
it was one of those unspoken contracts of silence like "I teach your daughter and you work at a strip club"...I don't tell if you don't
I think the lady at jack in the box started crying when we put in our order.
When we missed a fist bump and simultaneously did the Rocket Power handshake I knew I was going to blow him.
Also- should we send out holiday cards? That say, "Eat a dick, 2014"?
We drunkenly built a couch fort and fucked in it. I've known her since preschool. This was every childhood fantasy mixed with adult dreams come true.
I am at 99 matches in less than 24 hours, I need a tinder rehab program
So high that I just walked into class, late, sat down in my desk, and tried to buckle my seatbelt.
If I could eat my chicken parm naked, it would be the closest I could ever be to God.
Randomize