he's 24. he finally texted me instead of using facebook chat. baby steps.
Only at my house do scrabble games turn into fist fights. I won though... the fight not the board game.
Making pb&j crepes. Using corn tortillas. So high. I don't know if I'm offending French people or Mexican people more.
Forgot to mention there might be a picture of me being thrown in the air while at a Mexican restaurant
i'm half naked talking to a cat. you don't have to justify your life to me.
What?! Why else would they put table cloths on a table if not for discreet oral sex? That's why they were invented! Read a book...
Dicks are so weird. He has kind of a feminine comforter in the background.
She knocked me and my drink to the ground with her ass. I have never been mad at someone for having a glorious booty.
I just wanted to check in on you and you replied with a selfie with your Coney Island waiter and the caption "after his shift we're dropping acid together"
This guy wants me to put ice under his foreskin. What!?
Disregard everything I texted you last night. Oh, and disregard me hooking up with your boyfriend.
I think my moral compass just broke
you took my virginity. you can't have my alcohol too.
But then our conversations are like black box recordings. Just the stuff you hear when the plane is going down
it is time to test the effects of half a loaf of bread and overconfidence on the human body
Randomize
