He probably put up nude pics. He seems like that kind of guy.
I coulnt tell if he was cumming or if I was throwing up
So at what point while he was throwing up on the girl next to him did you think "yeah, im going to hit that"
my mom just emptied my water bottle filled with vodka into the turtle tank.
Like that time I held Annie up and she peed all over the window.. We make a good team.
he's dressed up as pikachu 3 fucking years in a row and gotten laid each time. i don't understand
I don't know what I would do if cheese never existed
Someone's stooooned
so when our kids ask "when did you know you loved mommy?" you're gonna say "when she sent me emoticons about slobbing on my knob?"
She ordered an O'douls. That was the end of that date
Nothing makes the walk of shame as great as disapproval from a mom getting ready for work
I admit it could have gone better but look at it this way, since I broke the urn you don't have to worry about spreading the ashes.
A dozen fresh-baked cookies delivered to my dorm AND I don't have chlamydia or gonorrhea... Could this night get any better??
He makes bad life choices and drives a wagon, how is that not my type?
Dude there's ten thousand dollars worth of damage to the kids house and three thousand in stolen property and his dog is missing he is pissed
If I give him back his dog do you think he'll invite me to the next party
There's a pregnant girl taking shots of apple juice
Randomize
