Look at my ENTIRE past
Highly public sexual behavior gross mismanagement of funds socially unaccpetable and radical speech and thought
Might as well have a blog about it at this point
Last night Brynn convinced every person at the party wearing glasses that they stole hers, and she woke up with 8 pairs of prescription glasses in her bag.
U of I kids don't fist pump to Sweet Caroline. Get me the fuck out of here.
At the bar dressed as a taco. not a typo. Come down.
Somebody was walking their dog with their car. seriously
4 am. She strained the mac and cheese onto her legs. She has no skin.
I fucked your brother... Hey, at least we know he is not gay... You're welcome.
Hey do you think you can sew an adult onsie with easy access if you know what I mean!!?? It must have bunny feet.
if you had such a terrible roommate you would understand. jacking off in his conditioner is just the start.
I feel like I deserve an award for facing my fear of penises in my face.
No later than 4:00 ok - I'm tying my viagra high into a superbowl halftime showstopper. Ya, you might wanna look away for that
I was wasted and the time changed. I blame the male strippers.
I just used a VHS tape as a plate for sanwich
Tip of the day: Don't Amazon vibrators when your WHOLE FAMILY uses your prime account. There's dildo after dildo showing up in my "Related to Items You've Viewed" category on the home page.
So, I think think I left my underwear at your house. Well...not exactly your house but your roof.
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