No, asshole. I'm not gay. But if I was I think I would do better than fucking Nick Lachey.
Things he has used as lube on me: olive oil, cologne, purell, spit, tanning oil, and bottled hotel lotion
He needs to save up for some actual ky before my vagina gets an allergic reaction
she was so hung over that i had to hold her hair while she puked in a trash can in the middle of the student center as new freshman and their parents walked by.
i think the whole apartment complex could hear you beating off last night
As I was leaving the drunk tank the cop told me he had a feeling we would be meeting again real soon.
my fake id says im a 34 yr old russian lady ... how is this working
Important update! My next door neighbours have a canoe. Repeat: THEY HAVE A CANOE! We are having sex in it before this summer is over.
how does someone with a Masters Degree leave poop in an ashtray in the sink? It just blows my mind
Dude, you kicked in the door to get to a six-person orgy while yelling "I JUST WANT TO LEARN!!"
You don't know what lonely is until you've came in an Arby's Napkin
Packing for college has become a game of where did I hide my sex toys.
At 38 I had to open a Snapchat account to communicate with my 21 yr bf. where is my life going.
dave might be using McDoubles to pay for dances
he has gotten at least 7 lap dances out back
duddde i wasn't even home last night and someone elses clothes are on my floor and there glow sticks everywhere?!
God gave you your own nipples for a reason.
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