I am dying of drunk and no thats not a typo.
I just fell asleep with a sandwich in my mouth at Cosi..people definitely saw
you looked like a weeble wobble. everytime we thought you were going to fall you bounced back up...you're an amazing drunk
you are hot. that is all.
who is this?
the delivery driver from silvermine.
my ass has officially been on the floor of every fraternity on this campus
and who said we didn't have goals?
We're starting "No Hesitation Fridays." The probability of this going horribly are between 100 to 125 percent
woke up on the kitchen floor in the recovery position. at least drunk me remembered sober me's emt training
I hid drinks in her bathroom closet.... like a squirrel... a squirrel who knew she was going to get cut off soon
took some adderal to make my alochol withdrawl less shitty. now im just concentrating on how badly i need a drink
Worst case scenario, I put a giant cork in your vagina so you don't give birth before my birthday
I'm having post-experience "why didn't I fuck her in a public bathroom" regrets
The tit pic search didn't go as planned, some old guy sent me a pic of his balls and said stop texting his daughter. Better luck tomorrow
in a meeting in my bathtub while predrinkin for tonight. technology.
I found your birth control, it was in your Crown Royal bag.
He ate me out in a golf cart while I watched the sunset. You are so right, golf skirts do provide amazing access.
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