Tell LD happy birthday and party like it's $19.99
Recession joke.
I'm at the doctor and the male nurse (haha) asked me if I smoked, drank or did drugs, and when he said 'drugs' he looked me right in the eye and did a perfect wrist rocket.
I'm towing my little brother down the road on a sixty year old tractor, we're taking up the whole highway, and no one cares. I love South Dakota.
So my graduate coordinator is possible gay man. I may have just found the easiest way to a degree ever.
Good plan b, put your number on all your forms. Hello gamefull employment.
Take that integrity
All I want to do right now is burp, puke, and fart. In that order.
I just want you to know if you wake up tomorrow morning and wreak of mustard, I was not involved.
Go big or go home. i snuck in two beers in my bra. im here to win.
Come over. We have tacos... And girls who took their clothes off. But mainly, tacos.
He told me how it ended, then I blew him.
So he ruined the best cinematic experience of your life and you REWARDED him??
I'm only friends with her because I can't stop watching the train wreck.
I'm in the smoking section between a transvestite molly dealer and a group of juggalos. I shouldn't be that hard to find.
Philosophical question for you: is it better to go into work slightly drunk or slightly coked out?
I found condoms in the back yard from you and your boyfriend. My house isnt a motel
Dude i woke up today by a pile of fried chicken and wearing a bra
.......stop going to frat parties....
I'll be coming off of 7 days of not drinking. No horse tranqs either. I haven't been this sober since I was in the womb
Randomize
