you kept singing the copa cabana and saying HAVE A BANANA to random people on the street. you also went up to this poor short guy and hugged him while proceeding to yell I LOVE YOU CHILD MAN into his face. please tell me you're sober now
be a good friend and just tell me i'm not pregnant
Welcome to my life. currently drinking beer through two straws. easier/faster that way.
Somehow I managed to make my Dunkin Donuts uniform look slutty. And I'm not even wearing hoops.
is it too early in the day to continue our conversation about penis shapes?
i have now been nicknamed the screamer on the first, third, fourth, & six floor by all the ra's. only two more floors to go before i cover the entire dorm.
There is literally a guy in my class with a gallon of water and a trophy.
I know. I almost started crying. IN WHAT UNIVERSE IS THAT A TURN ON?!
Im gonna need you to always be ready for drinking or this will never work. grow up peter pan.
I seriously don't understand how you keep getting laid.
Because I'm like the spider of false hope. I spin elaborate tales and snare them in my web of utter disappointment. They soon realize their mistake, but by then it's too late.
Listen I'm a sentimental character under all this alcohol and ratchetry
She said if her future children dont have blue eyes she wont love them
My mother is even happier about me having a sugar daddy than I am
When he was going down on me I referred to him as "Lord Snow" and HE GOT IT. HE GOT THE GAME OF THRONES REFERENCE. I AM IN LOVE
Its like a glacier coming out of my asshole.
Randomize
