They wont let us in. Theyve some sort of no Daft Punk costume rule
soo apparently i was out of money so i stayed in the bathroom for an hour-ish passing out paper towels for money..needless to say i got kicked out
I wonder if they've ever made a porno about the song "she'll be comin' round the mountain when she comes"
You don't even understand how penises react in the cold. I'm like a 8 year old boy right now.
You wouldn't let me clean the puke off your face because I'd mess up your cat whiskers. Now that's dedication.
You need to get here now. Before they realize I'm not puerto rican.
I can't wait to hear about your drunken cab ride to planned parenthood at 2pm
I'm here to help build your repertoire of drunken shenanigans and I should have been arrested stories
So I was bartending last night and this guy w/ his gf said that he recognized me, so I asked him, "do you watch a lot of gay porn?"
After that time I came to the conclusion that jeeps are the best cars to have sex in
She sent me a video of herself sitting in the car stone faced listening to the Titanic song on silence. She won't answer my texts.
The day I let him eat me out will be the day that Donald trump is an honest, kind, non-bigoted member of society
I wanna suck that fisherman's dick.
How do you say happy birthday to someone you fuck occasionally that almost got you arrested? Like what do I text.
So how do u get your coat out of the coat room when someone is fucking on it?
Randomize
