She actually asked me 'is it in yet?' I deleted the vid.
i just saw an ambulance and a fire truck pull away from the dorms. it appears somebody actually IS feeling shittier than me today.
Why are my keys in the refrigerator?
You said "This is gonna really confuse me tomorrow." Apparently drunk you plays pranks on hungover you.
This explains so much.
I'm giving up shame for lent. Here come the best 40 days and nights of my life.
I held a cracker & gaterade down for an hour. I feel like this will be my greatest accomplishment of the day.
"thanks for the sex" was written in lipstick on my bathroom mirror. i'm officially done with random hook ups.
What's worse: not calling my parents in Dallas to make sure they're alright or not taking shelter to masturbate all over my douchebag roommates clothes?
I worry about you.
I'm not sure if it was the 11 shots or your naturally vibrant personality but I recall you being quite noisy that evening
I had phone sex with a retiree last night. This is not how I envisioned my 20s going...
i just smoked marajunia from a shotgun barrell. what have you done today?
Don't be offended, the only thing I'm attracted to right now is snack cakes and chicken wings.
I can't hang out tomorrow. A boy wants to feed me ice cream and touch my boobs. Priorities.
Got drunk in Atlantic City Flagged down some guy with two wrapped tampons like road flares for a cigarette.
this is the second day the intern has gotten me coffee. he either wants to bang me or thinks I'm more important than I am.
either way he's in for disappointment
Got so drunk last night I kinda sent a super on point sext to his kid sister...say a prayer man
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