I told her I would melt her with my mustache. Needless to say, he pants were soon off.
there's a lady drinking out of a red cup in class. HAPPY FRIDAY
i've been thru my totinos phase. then after reading the ingredients and nutritional info i almost puked in my mouth. its like having the bastard child of pizza hut and mcdonalds invade your kitchen and start stabbing your digestive system.
She's trying to figure out what kind of dinosaur I am... Yay codeine.
Teeth make me feel like a dinosaur. Can you feel yours?
Worst luck of my entire life. Came in my own mouth
Just puked off the 5th floor onto a car windshield. This is my life and I'm proud of it.
After a long night of drunk sexting I have to the ninja roll at the front door to see who showed up.
Seriously, I woke you up with tacos, I think I deserve the best girlfriend ever award
The plane down was full of newly weds and I counted 5 pairs of mile high club members. Actually, one might have been a group membership discount.
The amount of times I have been emergency drunk in the past 72 hours is staggering
If anybody had to puke on my shoes, I'm glad it was you.
How are you feeling this morning?
Well, I just found day old puke in my bra, so I've been better.
Slammed 3 beers and just bowled a 129\nI guess alcohol IS the answer
It was probably the most embarrassing moment of my life. But I had cleavage, so I'm good!
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