oh my god, i just wanna eat cake off your dick
he spent the whole night trying to convince me into a2m. i won't even use the pb til i clean the jelly knife. i love him but it's not going to happen.
We've had the 'life would be so much better if we were both lesbians' conversation too much for that to be okay.
When a man can't even pay attention to you when you're telling him about how big his penis is, there's something wrong
You might call them booze related cuts, I call it "partying so hard you sweat blood"
I shouldn't be that hard, but i cant exactly put "a guy to tie me up and fuck me and then brush my hair" in my dating profile
Part of my treatment is getting high and having sex with 22 year olds. I have a prescription!
Aw don't be embarrassed. It was all good fun! We've all been there. You can't come to vegas and NOT get a little alcohol poisoning. That's like going to church and not praying.
You know you're hung over when the glare from the cream cheese on your bagel is just too bright...
Duuuude someone spilled hot sauce all over the floor and trailing outside wtf
OH GOD IT'S BLOOD. THIS IS ALOT OF BLOOD.
Officially spring today. First sighting of loud-ass Steller Jay on the balcony.
I almost accidentally threw him out a window during sex last night.
How does one take the "you're the best sex I've ever had but I'm marrying someone that's sub-par in the sack" mind fuck?
I pity the fool.
Thanks Mr T.
At one point she put on my dads pants and yelled after him EMILIOOOO! Dude, my dads name is Mark.
Soooo, hypothetically, how long would roommates have to sleep together before its considered dating...
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