..Thats also how I think I got the lyrics from MIAs Paper Planes Sharpeed on my ass? Maybe.
he proceeded to punch 3 mailboxes in a row and when i asked him why, he said "because they were talking shit"... i need a new boyfriend. and a new life.
That's why Kanye is a gay fish.
I wish I was that guy from the miller light commercials so I could walk into parties and take peoples beer without getting yelled at
I don't have the money to get a cast so we made one from stuff at the craft store.
i signed up to donate 10 dollars a month to help the children that are being displaced in columbia because of the drug wars.. i felt obligated
The baby slept soo good last night. Its like he knows the importance of me being intoxicated all weekend.
I walked into the garage and you were telling the bikes that you were not that drunk.
Ladystoner tip: if eyes are bloodshot, lime green eyeliner makes them appear less red. its basic artt.
Also, my drunkenly packed sleepover kit consisted of a singular sock, my uncharged laptop, and a pack of post-it notes.
Oh Brad. Your poor brain, always being ignored for your penis and crazy women.
maybe if I avoid him long enough we could skip the talking part of "we need to talk"
You kept hiding under tables and grabbing people's legs and shouting SHARK ATTACK.
Just in case you forgot, you puked all over your boss house, pissed on his coffee table, and were then thrown out by his wife
He was cute in a Sketchy-trying-to-sell-you-a-vaccum-at-9-at-night kinda way.
Randomize
