the recession has oofficially hit my standards.
we'll go far in life on tits alone.
I'm at McDonalds and when I walked up to the register the guy said "I'm so sorry." Before I said a word. That's how bad my hangover is.
he got a rim job in the basement.
apparently i was the one who gave it to him.
Oh, and my friends believe you should reimburse me for the brazilian that was gone to waste.
Rule of thumb; if you ask me if my tits are fake you will not get to touch them.
I'm just crazy horny about you
My Internet history has 23 searches for 24 hour cake. Self respect plummeting.
Let's go dancing. I wanna sprain an ankle. And a labia. My labia or yours. I'm not picky.
I'm just opting for alcohol abuse, ramen and cuddling with my dog for now.
Remind me to tell you how I've been deaf since Sunday at 1245
Two grav bong hits and a shower later and I'm ready for company
It's like you say things that speak to my soul on a deep personal level
I think I'm just going to get a farm, a vibrater, and a lot of wine.
Just because you got dumped by some loser doeant mean you need Jesus. It just means you need better friends and some booze
I don't remember anything from last night, but at track I found my thong next to the high jump pit... So it must has been decent
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