i want to be waterboarded, just to see what all the fuss is about
if i found out she had a dick after i got head, does that still make me gay?
We can't all go after the girl with the low self-esteem
i think there mostly mad about the fact it was 6 pm not the fact i blew a .255
Are you being sarcastic? I can't tell this time because you're in the hospital.
We had phone sex and he came in his sink. i will never eat off one of his plates again
...I think i just fell in love with a random undergrad at first glance. He was the awkward young adult version of captain hook. Dear god i need to get off this campus.
The drunk people on this bus are singing Journey songs. This is the whitest thing I've ever experienced
guy at the bar just asked how many cows we have on our land, then proceeds to ask me out. you know your from the country when....
I hate him but I love him for what he does which is me
You could at least care enough to fake an orgasm for me.
Quit giving me a hard time, whens the last time you got head every night? Cougars are where its at they dont play games
I've never been so excited to be bleeding from my vagina.
Just ordered a pregnancy test off amazon. Fuck 2019
Now I know Sunday Funday means fucking till you loose your voice.
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