I just let someone steal something bc they were so fucking weird and wouldn't leave me alone
sober me hid the cigs from drunk me. sober me is a tricky bitch.
Pregaming class all semester has made this final review session more like my introduction to the topic.
FUCK YOU CALIFORNIA. YOU DO NOTHING RIGHT. FIRST PROP 8 AND NOW THIS.
YOU GOT KICKED OUT OF FIVE GUYS LAST NIGHT FOR THROWING PEANUTS AT THE PEOPLE WHO WORK THERE?!
correction: escorted out
Emergency need house key where r u I just got shit o n
I am on a roof. I'm not sure which one, or why, or how, but I am on a roof and you should come get me. I can see info classrooms!
I think I just ate eggs off of a plate covered in cocaine.
But I wanna cuddle and just put my hand awkwardly close to your penis area by accident and look at you
I literally farted midsex as a siren for him to get the fuck off me.. No such luck.
They think its so cute and admirable that I learned French. BITCH HAVE YOU NEVER HEARD OF GOOGLE TRANSLATE? sexting foreign bitches, there's an app for that
You said "this is only my eighth drink" with like 6 separate drinks
*jedi mind trick* you want to go down on me
I woke up in a beaver hat and contruction vest.. I need answers.
he had to stop me from eating snow off the street on the way back to pick up our cars. that's how hungover i am.
Randomize
