so all night Ive been that girl with her tits out @ the bar. I mean I dropped jaws, yo. But in a classy way.
I thought the fact that I took home a 42 year old with 3 kids would excuse my tardiness this morning because my boss is also 42 and has 3 kids. Boy was I wrong.
had to ask my 13 year old sister if she knew any dealers... she did. it's good to be home.
i just wanna lock my vagina in a safe filled with bandaids and healthy things
I just made Jack Daniels snow cones.
i made potato chips in weed oil. what did you do today?
His fridge was full of blocks of pepperjack cheese, and his pantry was stocked with huge jars of jellybeans. Even if I'd been drunk, I don't think I could've made that up.
The girl behind me in psych just tapped me on my shoulder to tell me there was a condom wrapper in my hood.
he is like the poster child for std's. god i hope he meets a girl with teeth in her vag. that would serve him right
She just pored wine down the turkeys hole and said that she christened it like the whore that it is...happy thanksgiving.
I'll make some time for you! I don't know how long you need to get off, but I should only need 2-7 minutes, pending what kind of socks I have on.
I'm proud of you for choosing to be an organ donor on your fake!!
Why was I lying under a truck last night?
Its almost 1 am and u wanna get together and cry naked
kind of bad when u call a cop an asshole for driving you home from the bar
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