If I go to jail what happens to my debt?
You dont have to pay it.
I'm going to jail.
i found the vodka. it was hiding in the orange juice.
im letting my talent of no gag reflex go to waste
I just saw a woman point to her daughter and scream at her husband THIS IS YOUR GENES, THIS IS YOU.
you just can't say no to drugs on a mirrored table.
I never thought I would get head to the lion king soundtrack
Remember...the emancipation proclimation is your favorite document, you love asian women, japanese food is the tits, and you willfully employ as many latinos as possible...
how did my horoscope know i was too hungover to operate a stove.
That moment when you see yourself in a security camera feed and realize you forgot a bra. And pants.
Of course I understand. Thou shalt never turn down a free meal or drink. It's one of the commandments of being a girl.
I need a full description of the guy I hooked up with. I don't think I ever saw his face
he seemed brazillian..
fuck.
That was awkward , having sex with her while her husband watched via Skype. I'm a porn star or a target. Idk
Make a note to pack something that won't catch shell casings in your cleavage
I was giving him head and he slipped one of those hats with propellors on top on my head.
Omfg I just White Claw shamed a Girl Scout Cookie mom and I feel SO BAD.
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