im poppin the ladies like they're bacne
Fuck that. Livers are so overdramatic and attention hungry.
i was watching some porn this morning and i realized i am blessed with a truly beautiful vagina
im covered in puffy paint and glitter i cant find kevin and im wearing shoes that dont belong to me....come get me please
I woke up at 3am naked and stroking a watermelon.
Saying you want a bj does not count as saying you wanna see me btw.
Just bartered a McD's cheeseburger and fries for two pitchers. Oregon Trail ain't got shit on me.
We had to go to his parents last night for dinner & ended up having a quickie in the bathroom while everyone else was outside smoking.. This is why we have a successful marriage.
I am about to embark upon a south Boston wedding....
Hydrate.
I bought something for you today. You'll love it.
What is it? Drugs?
HOW DO YOU FORGET TO FINISH WINE
I appreciate the I'll come bail you out of jail tone in the text
I was mad at him...then I jerked off. Now I'm over it. Orgasms fix everything, I swear.
YOUR VAGINA IS SO CUTE IT'S LIKE A LITTLE MACAROON
Van sex tonight? No need to tell me how classy that sounded.
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