very cute, but more "I wanna put you in my pocket and keep you as a pet" and less "please bang me" type of cute.
NEVER shave your cleavage hair.
So im at the gym and some guy has a tattoo of a hand doing the shocker... The douche bag bar has been raised yet again.
I assume it was your influence that had me go from DD to waking up out on the deck with one eyebrow shaved off??
i feel like im paying for every hangover i didnt experience last year as a freshman. thank you sophomore year.
gave him road head on the way to his grandparents house. purposely didn't let him finish, the sexual tension over turkey was indescribable.
Ok not good, my info has definitely been submitted to this sugar daddy website before.
Looking forward to meeting the person naked and passed out at my kitchen table.
My cab driver has a hooker in the front seat. Really, this is serious. And weird.
Then you bent down and whispered, "excuse me mr. Stair, could you please stop moving?"
"Wine night with the girls" turned into me having to set an alarm in the bathtub this morning...
can i bring anything?
Any of the following: Sex doll, side dish, fruits/vegetables that look like dildos, beer
is there a theme i should know about?
also my alarm just went off. I am always amused at what time drunk me decides to wake up.
I got laid two nights in a row
And none for Gretchen Wieners...
Would you say that skipping class and sitting alone in my room singing One Direction to myself and sobbing is an acceptable way to deal with the break-up
Randomize
