it wasn't sex, it was awkward naked time.
The reason i havent seen you yet better have huge tits
and that's why he's hiding in the taco suit
she tends to only attract lesbians and homeless men
Just come back with most of your limbs...and your dick. Please and thank you
Well, now that you have a gf, its gonna be awkward when I get drunk and make out with you..... Then later, pretend like I don't remember.
IM FEEDING MY CAT ALL THE HAM
I should probably stop opening conversations with 'guess who's horny'.
I got hella high today and freaked out about life and interest rates
I just sugar scrubbed my vagina. If I don't get laid tonight, me and the universe are gonna have some problems.
Woke up with a $50 attached to my penis with a rubber band..
Sweet. Tell little Richard to buy us a sack and a pizza.
did you just correct my grammar and then send me a photo of your dick?
Me my naked body. You bring the paints. I expect to be a panther by game time Sunday.
What do I get.
Panthers win you get to fuck the paint off me.
Wanna bang and Pregame work? I know you're the manager just promise to not fire me
No I don't. You owe me sex and cinnamon rolls.
Randomize