Drinking in an igloo changes everything.
you were sitting on my toliet with a double cheesburger in your hand asking me how the cheeseburger even got there.
He wouldnt stop screaming that he wanted a trashcan WITH a lid. Whats so necassary about a lid
he was drinking cheap vodka with warm tap water and a packet of crystal light. if that's not an alcoholic then idk what is
i think every time you texted me i responded with 'bathroom floor'
im afraid if i stop breathing i will turn into a porcupine
Throwing up out both ends. This is not how I pictured adulthood.
You're only allowed to hookup with one freshman a semester. MAKE IT COUNT.
I think we did. All i know my pants smell like pong water due to the bathroom extravagansa. God I feel like a whore.
Just want to apologize again for asking to spot your form in the shower.
Sorry this is the worst night of your life and that you're being a baby about it.
Yeah apparently i called the bartender a "fucking prison warden" after she took my keys and called me a cab
He makes bad life choices and drives a wagon, how is that not my type?
The fact he has had a girlfriend for 5 years and they are trying to work it out isn’t going to stop me from sleeping with him. He said it himself you can’t cheat on someone you love...
Our livers are going to hate us.
It's okay, they're regenerative. God wanted this.
Randomize
