kill, fuck, marry: alice cullen, hermione granger, ginny weasley.
damn... fuck alice for sure, I feel bad but i think I have to say marry ginny... and kill hermoine! I can't believe I'm answering this right now.
I just named my vagina "The Boneyard"
More like "Chia Pet"
dudes here are drinking wine, and not in the forgivable 'just doing this to get laid' way
I just decorated my birth control case with Lisa Frank stickers. If that doesn't scream 'I'm not ready for babies' I don't know what does.
Turns out puking in your mask makes it even harder to see out of the mask..
I like to think I'd be good at dodging genitalia.
Why did I puke in my shower caddy last night
Thanks for the hickies, asshole. I make my living as a fitness instructor. It's gonna look reeeeeeal weird if I have to wear a scarf while teaching Zumba all week.
Excuse me, but I got friendzoned and all I could think about was the fact that I didn't have my underwear back on yet.
Aaaand the winner of the worst decision of Sunday night goes to me as I pull up to his house in my lingerie.
The thought "Ummm which pants am I wearing? ...I *am* wearing pants, right?" just ran through my head. I'm done. So done.
I mean metaphorically speaking, maybe we've all fucked on top of a frat house at some point in our lives
You know that you're in a bad spot when the doctor puts you on 500mg of amoxicillin 4 times a day for ten days and puts refills on it...
When's the best time to point out that all of my orgasms this year have been self-administered? Valentine's day?
I'm definitely drunk. At the gyno. On my birthday. Life is a joooooooke
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