Dude, the girl i fucked last night left wearing my high school musical shirt you bought me. she also left her panties here though.
The one with Zac Efrons face on it? You definitely got the short in of the stick. i'd rather have the shirt
fuck. yeah me too. i don't even think these panties would fit me
Tell her she's as useless as a condom.
So he says he needs "alone time" a day that he doesnt have to deal with anyone. should i be concerned?
I think in guy language thats " Im fucking someone else and dont want u catching me"
I cut my penus on the lid.
We just had to use a designated driver to get to night class.
I expect to be treated like a lady. Even If your sticking it in my ass.
Tell him next time im gonna be "disgrace to the family" drunk
I pulled my bra out of my dress and handed it to my mom..at cocktail hour during the wedding.
Idk. The last coherent text said something about $25 & dimes. And then...it's just letters...
2 hours later, she made her cat watch the waterfall scene from Homeward Bound to teach her how good she has it here.
Just went to my first strip club and they had Fox News on. Conservative booty time.
I had a dream that my roommate walked in on me masturbating and I hissed "I'm not stopping this orgasm train for the likes of you" and just kept going
He ripped my sink off my bathroom wall and then threw up in it.
I hope the lord has blessed you with many tampons, child.
It's slightly odd going to a booty call during morning rush hour with everyone else going to work.
Randomize
