Job is the problem. Drinking, the solution.
I don't know how to say this, but I think you're a fucking bitch and the sooner you die I'll be happier.
Sorry- wrong number! :)
Woke up with a treasure map of my room stuck with sticky tape to my ceiling. followed it and found $75 with a note saying; "eat this if we're invaded"... I'm never getting stoned again
I can neither confirm or deny any bear related allegations right at this time.
I have 20 seconds to get my life together and look presentable.
Update: we are pushing the start of day drinking back from 9 am to 10 am. Minor delay.
Josh has a goal of being naked in every RAs room this year. He's already 3/11.
E drugging s springing. Ease dnt Kate. To t e. ess e I meant thou.
I ran into the bouncer who kicked me out of that beach bar a few months ago. I told him I'd only been thrown out of two other places since then. He was proud.
I love our relationship. We just get drunk, show each other our tits, demonstrate sexual positions and make pasta. Then you go to bed and I sit around with your mom and cry about how proud of you we are.
I hopped in a random dudes car outside the strip club at 3pm on a Sunday and said "Follow that car!"
I need to pay that drinking in public ticket, but I also really want to get a spray tan next week... so priorities.
If there was a card that said "I'm sorry for throwing up on your bathroom counter" I would send it to you.
Phil and I agree that the level of sand in your vagina rivals that of many of the earth's largest deserts
All I remember is your girlfriend laying on the bathroom floor and me crawling in and asking if it was okay to puke.
Randomize
