good penises are hard to come by.... must be the economy...
You should just wear a sign that says "I like cheap Chinese food and anal"
I like taco bell too
i just got fired from my job because i was "too smart" and my immedate response was i am WAY too stoned to be considered smart, and theni walked out the door.
wow. i have no words.
still doesn't change the fact you were dunking your sock in the toilet.
It feels like Jesus smacked me in the face with the new testament for drinking so much last night
My brain is officially off for summer until late august. If that guy wants to fuck me, he better do it soon.
I am currently google image searching dick piercings, trying to see what I'm getting myself into.
i walked outside and you were driving up the stairs to her apartment
He called me at two in the morning to tell me he was throwing the tiny Thor hammer at moving vehicles. Apparently he missed the guy on the motorcycle.
I think you are the only one slutty enough and evil enough for the job. Just go in and blue ball him. He broke my nose in Middle school. He deserves this.
Sorry for all the texts. I got wasted and woke up at the foot of a staircase. From what I can gather, I fell down it.
Looking through my moms phone and find a pic if a dick. Scarred for life.
I have a magical vagina and I can't deny it anymore
How likely is it that we can see each other tomorrow night? I want to shave my legs in good faith but it's cold outside and my bathroom is drafty.
I can barely operate my hands; what makes you think I can operate my dick
Randomize
