Are you trying to threaten my boobs?
anyone who has a picture of a ferrari with the caption "mAh DreAM caR" is getting denied as my facebook friend.
.....then i was kicked out of my work christmas party......
She said her first boyfreind was so small she is still technically a virgin.
Well you are. Awfully cute even. Like baby bunnies. And tiny, tiny penises. You know.
She was either really drunk or really not interested. Everytime I tried to ask her about herself she would respond with a line from Stepbrothers.
He would only do it doggy style. The "he's probably gay" debate rages on...
im about 40 per cent sure i invited the bouncer to our pajama party next weekend...
When you get home there will be live fish in the bathtub. I did not put live fish in the bathtub.
I just fell down my stairs, guess that's how my sunday is gonna go
I'M GOING TO FUCK AN ENTIRE ORCHESTRA AND NOTHING CAN STOP ME
The band club does not count as an orchestra
I was so high last night I honestly think my tears were medicinal
just because i'm not a monk anymore doesn't mean I need to tell you about my new sex life.
which is fantastic by the way.
My boss and I ended up at the same strip club. We both got lap dances while talking about work.
I see more hoeing in ur future
Randomize
