Buhtt sex?
these 2 russian guys walked past me and i got freaked out because i thought call of duty got real
Just ate applesauce I laced with percocets for dinner. I'm pretty sure my grandmother does the same thing.
Not rlly sure. Might just drink and sleep. Gotta wake up for my last rabies shot lol
We found you wrapped up in a tarp in the garage the next morning, thats how real shit got.
dude there's a blind guy on the trail using his service dog to hit on girls.
Its a cash in stratch tickets to afford cigarettes and coffee kind of friday
I climbed out of the shower to him sitting on the floor trimming his pubes with nail clippers, we both just started laughing at how drunk we were
The secret to finals week is to have an orgasm for every point you need on the test before you take it.
if i don't get grease into my system pronto i will undoubtedly die
I stopped for beer and woke up to a bird on my shoulder. I really need to stop drinking
I feel like I don't show you my boobs enough. And you deserve to see them like all the time
Well I can cross 'get my dick slathered in coconut oil while watching the bob's burgers porn parody' off my bucket list.
He listens to me complain and in return I send him naked pictures. It's a win win situation
Sextember may be over, but Cocktober is just beginning!!!
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