Is it possible to jerk off a nipple?
i bet even starving children in Africa take the crust off their poptarts
My balls had bee stings let's just leave it at that.
So it turns out my dad calls his penis "John" which means he either named me after his penis or his penis after me
We have video of him nailing the sex doll to my wall and putting all the monopoly pieces in her nose
Had "I should be in prison or dead" storytime at the bar. Found out James has done blow off a dead guy. Overwhelmed and speechless.
Every time I stand up, gravity punches me in the tits. This is horrible.
He just asked me if he's allowed to flirt with me. That's how whipped he is.
and now i get to think about how i fulfill a gay man's harry potter fantasy. thanks for that
hey your mom heard me say to her " That right your not going to Shit right for a month"
Definitely a Xanax and Jell-O shots kinda day...except my Jell-O shots are really just a big bowl of a Jell-O shot that I use a spoon to eat.
Well he was saying something about being emotionally unavailable since his dad died, but then I blew him in a tree and he shut up
Woke up next to a slice if pizza. From what i can tell I tried to plug it into my phone charger. No more blackout wednesdays for this girl.
I woke up using a beer can as a pillow. successful party?
We should write a country song: “Blacked Out on a Sunday”
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