The way white people respond to them, you'd think Journey was the president of Caucasia.
How much cunt could a cunt bag punch if a cunt bag could punch cunt?
so i was dancing to the glee soundtrack with highheels. i tripped. and the dildo fell on my face. i dont know what happened.
I hate drunken dyslexia, i thought she said "someone to do" not "something to do" long story short i now have a restraining order.
I mean, once you help another girl drunker than you zip her jeans you can't help but be friends after that
I'm blaming hurricane Irene if I get pregnant tonight.
So he texted me two hours ago to tell me he just took two hits of acid. Now he's asking me if it's possible for a house to breathe.
I don't mean to ruin your favorite Disney movie...but...we both came when Mufasa died.
if drunk means calling me and asking to borrow the game of life at 2am then I think you were drunk
You left wolverine marks
I'm somewhere between sorry and proud
I give up. I can't handle that class sober any longer. I have an army of whiskey shooters for the next three weeks. Wish me luck.
The bathroom smells like ribs. What did you do?
I wish drunk me came with subtitles
No, I barely made it home last nite. Kept telling cab driver I live across the street from Susan Sarandon?? Thank god her coop addy is posted online.
I was writing 'DISTRACTION' across my chest in Sharpie when my boob fell out. Right on camera.
Randomize
