what happened last night??
everyone saw ******'s vagina
and that's just the beginning
Lonely and bored. Am I allowed to play Dance Dance Revolution by myself?
Last night was proof dads should hug their daughters more
What color are my eyes?
Ummmm... 34 C?
Apparently you can legally be topless in Boulder, CO. Get on it.
This has been your unwelcomed wake-up call, brought to you by exes united. Have a good day, to opt out please type "STOP", to continue but act as though they do not exist please enter "DON'T CARE" for random daily wake up texts by exes united please press "PSYCHO!"
She said she'd heard about my nickname in high school. Apparently sledgehammer isn't as popular as you'd believe...
I am both excited and frightened by the fact that this much everclear is legal here. Best vacation ever.
Found my ex-boyfriend's money stash. Call the girls, we are getting fucked up tonight, my treat.
My dick pics could make it to the popular page on Instagram.
We're taking a shot every time Landon Donovan takes a shot. It's clever, sort of.
I don't know, I think it's at least a minor achievement when you can light up with the guy who took your virginity and act like you didn't have and incredibly awkward sexual experience together
I am downtown smoking a joint with Woody Harrelson...Because our car won't start. I will be there as soon as I can.
Well when you come back we can have a huge bitch fit...or get really drunk....whichever comes first
Kay so its 9 am whose dumbass is gunna act sober to buy pizza rolls
Dude you promised
Randomize
