you ever fart during an orgasm? feels like u just lost 10 pounds
she asked if mt Rushmore was natural or man made
duuuude. vodka popsicles DO NOT function.
We went to his house and he brought a jar of pickles to bed. I think im in love.
She. Own s my pussycat. Roxk it like. The sun hitting the horizon
Why on earth is he slamming his body into the wall again?
pain. pain everywhere. this is why throwing yourself at concrete is a bad idea.
He just kept yelling cup my balls to everyone they kicked us out after 20 min
We may have picked the wrong resort. Brenna and I have already been propositioned for swinging twice and we've only been here 3 hours
Is the party worth it?
I am drink. Beer pony and singing.
i also remember watching someone vomit off a balcony which was kind of grim
I'm pretty sure the rest of my evening will consist of masturbating, drinking tequila and watching children's movies.
Was picked up in the middle of a bar full of people...apparently I'm not tall enough to reach for drunken makeouts. I'm proud of myself.
And on the way out from Applebee's he tried to take the basket of toothpicks claiming he was using them as a tax write off. Last time I babysit my dad on thirsty Thursday.
Clearly the Stanley Cup Finals good luck hand job IS necessary. You let the whole team down.
Randomize
