should my break up email to my English professor be in MLA format?
I'll be accepting presents in the forms of drinks, drugs, and orgasms. So any or all of those will be fine.
We officially wrote our house rules 1. We do not waste alcohol 2. Pinky promises mean something 3. Don't leave your facebook open, and if you do, don't complain 4. Never refuse cuddle or catch phrase
So my OCD kicked in and I cleaned his kitchen. His roommates were so grateful, they tried to pay me in weed.
YOU ACCEPTED, RIGHT?
Yes I hit her with my car. Yes I gave her a ride home. And yes she gave me her number. What's the problem?
well I already know I'm going to hell, at this point it's really go big or go home
You are the alcoholic guardian angel of raccoons
now that I know that you did coke with your mom I can't look at her the same
I'm slightly more gay than I thought. I'd go so far as to say I'm a top.
Speaking of mom and dad and Halloween... Mom bought a size small slutty nurse outfit last night. So yeah, they're getting hammered
I mean, the night I fell out of that bus I made you pour vodka onto my wound to clean it, then duct taped a paper towel to my hand and kept drinking.
You haven't lived until you've thrown up naked in a hotel room in Fargo while holding your breasts so they don't touch the toilet bowl.
You're just a heartbreaker with a knitting problem
Did I tell you I’m going on a date? His name is Michael and we both like dinosaurs and anal.
I was told I was gorgeous and a whore by the drag queens. My night is complete.
Randomize
