She was adopted and used to dance at Sapphire. just my speed.
WHOA. WHOA. WTF. WHOA. TOO HIGH FOR HIM TO BE ENGAGED RIGHT NOW.
Woke up with a chicken parm sandwich in my clutch. Aaaand I'm eating it.
he thinks the dog can do a keg stand. i will let you know how it turns out
i think i made a good impression on his friends wen i survived 55 cup beer pong
If a video of someone that looks like me banging that chick on the hood of her car in some parking lot suddenly shows up on the web... let me know, I gotta see how that turned out.
I wanna take him on a special date, something that says I banged your brother but since he moved I want you
I am making pancakes and watching Spongebob Squarepants. My life is a waste of youth.
I think I just sold a snake to a stoned teenager.
One of my students submitted a thesis proposal to find the exact correlation between desire for sexual intercourse and vaginal heat.
Tell me you accepted it! This is critical fucking research!
party devolved into two exes battling with Cal's tiki torches, and the lawn being set on fire kinda sorta and then we all hula'ed... hulaed?
On another note- any interest in going to a gay bar to hit on 19yr olds?
I bought a box of wine on my way home. I figured if I’m going to be broke during the holidays, I might as well be able to drink about it.
Please just help me figure out where the bruise on my face came from.
Heels with jeans turned Casual Friday into Casual Sex With My Boss Friday
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