i blacked out hard core.. it was bad peeeed muh bed
My friends, they love my intelligence
I was amazed that you fell flat on your ass and still managed not to spill them drinks in your hands. Your getting good at this.
I got a bikini wax for the first time today and I think I now understand feminism.
She paints her nails the color of the sheets of the last guy she slept with
I'd really appreciate it if we could dress up as pilgrims and indians for the thanksgiving eve bar crawl
well as your friend its only fair to offer my cock for your services. Cause I care.
Hey everyone. This evenings celebration will commence with a cocktail hour at genghis at 830 to be followed with an upscale dining experience at taco bell at 10. All are welcome. This is not a joke. Thank you
She just asked me if I was looser "in the vagina" than her. While gyrating.
View of Vancouver Bay is obscured though the greasy hand prints from fucking against the window. Tip maid well.
I'm pretty sure that our Lady and The Tramp Red Vine moment was the farthest I got last night
My goal is to be drunk before we even get out of the No Wake Zone.
Im so hungover I just threw up at the sight of a CARTOON CRABBY PATTY
I deleted all traces of him from my phone
even the dick picks he sent you?
no are you nuts? saved that shit to my camera roll
condom fairy costume came in handy...we were making out in my living room and he wanted it so i took a condom off the costume and we did it right there...with my tutu still on....
Randomize
