There's something fitting about a hot in-car interracial makeout to the tune of 'healing the world.' RIP Mike.
the young, male pastor of my church has a jesus fish tramp-stamp. I made him show me.
**i WaNt TO sLaP mY niECe wHO ThINks iT iS cUte tO WriTE LiKE tHiS**
Canada just beat USA, the sad part they still need us to make money so who really won
I'd suck anything for a pizza right now
I have realized now that neither the top nor bottom of a bunk bed is safe for sex....
He only had napkins in the bathroom... no toilet paper. If I fuck him, am I settling?
I feel that it is my duty to the human race to invent a colon squeegy
C'mon. I'm still an alcoholic at heart, regardless of its broken or not
I'm wearing a cape at the laundromat. I really can't say shit
They should incorporate dolphins into professional surfing
It reeks of weed and poor life decisions in here
This is gonna be the kind of weekend where if it involves putting on pants, it ain't happening.
The free coupon that printed out with the purchase of my plan b emergency contraception was for allergy meds. I feel like a coupon for condoms would've been more fitting in this situation.
Oh wait. It's for wart remover. Fitting, afterall.
Dude, the T Swift concert might not be so bad after all. Can you say milfs living vicariously through their teenage daughters? Score.
Randomize
