I should have some sort of frequent buyer card or something. I just bought my third bottle of Captain this week. It's Wednesday.
Just bought a disco ball for 5 dollars, of course we're drinking tonight.
he described going down on me as being like 'entering a jungle of deliciousness and fur
Oh no I would never do that to her. But when you're single again let me know. Cheating penis is definitely better than single penis. But she has claws.
How does one chug a beer and swing the bottle at someone in a single motion? This guys a beer ninja man
btw, whatever u do, dont try and take that towel away from her..i tried, it got ugly..she said some things im sure she regrets.
Hooked up with a guy that looked like Dean Thomas. Mediocre at best, but I stopped myself from calling him Dean in bed. So I got that going for me.
We had to go. She called the bartender a thundercunt.
You just put lesbians and Hogwarts in the same sentence. Of course I'm in.
I renamed some of my contacts in my phone before passing out and I have one I cant figure out, its "fucking house elf scum"
He suck his junk in my HALF BAKED. Ben & Jerry would totally disapprove. This is worse than sticky dick donut day.
You threw up at the outdoor bar and it was pretty...astonishing just how much can come out of such a small human.
I woke up and couldn't find her. She had somehow managed to get into the closet and lock herself in. She was crying for her boyfriend. Thirsty Thursday at its finest
Last time I had a one night stand he ended up stalking me for two months.
So you're not picking up this weekend?
This weekend, I am Angela, visiting from Calgary. We'll have to roleplay this.
Nothing ruins your day more than waking up to you dogs crotch in your face
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