The only way im leaving this casino is in a golden chariot or an ambulance
Just got roadhead while going 95. I came for a mile and a half.
Yea...coming from the girl who didn't understand why m&ms and tequila wasn't a "suitable diet"
i just kept saying he was red & i was blue and we couldnt become purple. I started crying at one point
my goal is to not remember how i make a living by 9pm saturday night
You are such a cockblock sometimes
You NEED a cockblock sometimes
Yeah... I was considering changing that part but the boxed wine is non-negotiable.
Dude, I found out having naked people in your car is a felony.. Now were all fucked.
If you call getting home safe by sprinting down Spanish Harlem barefoot still rolling then ya I made it
Simple math equation: Up till 5 a.m. drinking + up at 9 a.m. for nephews birthday party = puking in the pool
Of course I'll be there. I never miss an opportunity to smell like cigarettes, cheap beer, and shame.
I never thought my Saturday night would end up with someone crawling around my carpet for 3 hours trying to pick up spilled coke...
I never thought my Saturday night would end up with ME crawling around your carpet for 3 hours trying to save my investment.
I offered him midol and told him "it always helps my period so maybe it'll help yours"
I'm sorry about all of the innappropriate shoe throwing
Haha I wasn't coming anyway. I'm watching Snow White and don't want to put pants back on. Those are completely unrelated. Have a good night.
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