If he looks like a Gremlin DO NOT get him wet.
I wasn't excited about it either, but if I was going to have her take a load on her face, role playing as some french dude is the least I could do
MRIs the morning after St. Patty's Day was a poor choice.
I'm trying to decide if I want to bring home my 'beer champion' trophy or my chem books.
We went out. i got lost. dunno where they were. they slept in the car. i slept in an outdoor shower. i dont know anything else.
I just bought 1/2 a fifth of vodka out of an old school baby carriage from a homeless man. Gotta love this city.
Now you have tequila AND fuzzy slippers. Fuck you. I want that to be MY night.
My brother is wearing glitter eyeshadow and split leg skinny jeans
You've been usurped as King of the Gays
Matt says that there are strip club auditions in our living room and he'd like you to audition.
A giant panda just asked me for a cigarette and said "man pandas gotta smoke too." There is something wrong with this place.
Make sure you plan your visit for October. That's ACL festival, it's like every Bro in the country converges on Austin. My vagina wants to go hunting.
well. can officially check "get caught having sex on the front porch by the neighbors" off the bucket list.
Let's be honest dude, you almost cried when I gave you a handy, you are not ready for a relationship, I knew this.
YOUR STATE IS STUPID
Did you miss a turn again?
WHAT FUCKING IDIOT DECIDED TO DESIGN AN ENTIRE FUCKING STATE WHERE YOU CAN'T MAKE A FUCKING LEFT TURN?!? FUCK NEW JERSEY
I'm sitting in the car vaping at an elementary school to try and deal with the stress of existing. About how i thought being 30 would go for me tbh
Randomize
