i just ordered a pitcher of margaritas for me and a friend but she called and canceled. oh well, looks like im getting trashed alone.
the waiter who hardly speaks english told me "i go get your medicine now"
this medicine is soooo good.
Yeah, it was perfect until the end. Apparently women are super attracted to me until the sleeping with part.
i found out what alaskan girls practice during those six months of darkness
Does transporting jello shots count as driving with an open container?
My bracket is officially just a list of teams that lost.
She has a facebook friends list called oops. theres 33 people in it. she said its all the guys she regrets fucking.
Well, he sent me "techno kitty adventure" about 10 minutes ago. So, he could be anywhere.
I obviously couldn't but this on your fbook wall. I would get judge. I would willingly get tbagged by him. You can quote me on that.
She has either a C-Section scar or a bullet wound, I can't quite tell
how do you not remember that?! you winked at the bouncer and then proceeded to grind on him while chugging a beer. i don't know if i should be proud or embarrassed to be your friend
It was incredible. For as long as I live, I will gladly drop whatever I'm doing and spend a night with her face between my legs ANY time she asks.
I am decidedly straight, but I'll write it into my wedding vows if I have to.
Had sex with the Irish bartender in Spain. So that happened.
I feel like a drive thru vagina
We could have mediocre awkward sex or mediocre stunted/awkward/uncomfortable banter. The possilities are relatively finite
I don't care how many things you caught on fire, it's still not as bad as doing coke and then filming yourself having sex.
Randomize
