in a basement doing blow off a prince dvd next to a chick in a saddam mask
just paid a stripper to have a minute conversation about the arizona game WTF
on of the only things i remember was the security guard told me i was too drunk for laser tag.
Dude they even gave me free lube for being tested! Best. Hiv test. EVER.
stripped for him at 3am on my childhood playground and used the swing set as a pole.
I hope you don't have to start the day explaining to me how you failed to turn "Can I practice my belly dancing in your apartment" into all night sex.
My mom slipped a condom in my pocket along with a sticky note that said "be safe sweetie."
You know how most people would take your keys when they don't want you to leave a party? Those 2 girls aren't most people. They took my pants instead.
He came when he saw that my nipples were pieced
There is an alarming amount of urine in here.
Haha he puts me in a mood mix of annoyed and... "just get in my pants"
It's 4:30 AM and I just walked through a line of 10 deer without them freaking out. I am the campus deer king.
I can't come. It's so cold my uterine walls have frozen together like a cherry popsicle.
The party bus is stocked with 5 hour energies and beer and someone handing out adderall. Best. Wedding. Ever.
she brought her phone charger to the bar this bitch is ready to drink
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